This few days got me thinking, more than what I have done for some time. Of the past, present and future.
I admitted to some I'm in denial during that talk. Or well, I just think I'm brushing them all aside, taking things slow. Or too slow, perhaps? I don't know. I haven't been caring for some time, or for too long a time. I don't care much, not anymore.
And it's not good. I'm at nearly the end of my journey for now. The final practicums are coming, and I'm graduating. Let's not talk about this now.
I've been very frank to my lecturer for Professional Devt during the personal questioning and answering, that I am an introvert. I don't feel like, or like, talking to people, alot, well, except my close family and friends, of course. I couldn't be bothered about other people, because really, for?
I realize I've lost a part of me, and I could feel the difference, really. Due to what had happened, the hurts, the pains. Now I've become me, like this.
I saw it yesterday. I saw the happiness he's having. And I feel the pain I've been going through. The pains and hurts I've felt, and am feeling. The whatever nots that I tried, and try to mask. They all came back last night. It is so easy to hurt others and move on living in extreme happiness, telling the whole world how happy you are. But what about the people you've hurt? That, is left for me to feel.
It is so easy to treat people like rubbish. If only I believe I am not a piece of rubbish.
