Worrying Solves Nothing

Ok, I don't know why I put the above slogan. Perhaps because I am that kind of person, as many has said. I SEEM calm, and looks as if there's nothing worrying me. Most of the time, I really do not bother about worrying about things, especially if they are not happening real soon. For me, I'll worry about it when the time comes. But sometimes, of course I do worry. Definitely!

One instance was earlier today. It was my FP3 practicum! The second last of the great hurdle before I graduate. Time flies by so fast. I remember the first moments of being in this line. It seems just like a couple of months ago. But then I also remember the practicums, the exams and the never-ending assignments we have to do. The staying back in school or at a team mate's place to complete assignments. Ok, let's not get there. So it was my FP3 practicum. And it was a full lesson plan implementation, and everything a teacher needs to do. I wasn't really nervous, cause I know do not work well with nervousness. It went quite well, though I have kids, and especially a kid who just do not want to listen to me during my practicum. Even my field supervisor noticed, and of course she did not blame me because kids will always be kids. I took him for trial lessons and he could behave, but infront of my field sup... boleh mengucap. My field sup said he might just be showing off cause he kept turning to look at my field sup and was distracted by a stranger. Maybe. So well my field sup said I managed the class very well, which was a great relieve, because seriously, at some point of time when I have to keep trying to get the children's attention, I just feel like, I don't know. It even crossed my mind during the practicum that this is not for me. That I am not a good teacher, and I could never be one. Never say never, I still rmb his words. So I persevered, and I just tried to block out the distractions. I actually quite enjoy my lesson with the kids, and it's wonderful when ALL the children want to go to my learning centre which I spent like every waking hour the past week completing them, trying to make them as perfect as possible, atleast to me, for my kids. And it's wonderful when they want to join me in my activities although I only need to choose some children. And all of them wanting to be in my class when I only need to take half of them.

So well yes, my field supervisor said I did very well, from my lesson, assignments, handling the class, and everything. So I passed, and passed well. Alhamdulillah.

The joy of teaching them and seeing them learn something new, a step further of an educated human being. The joy of seeing my kids happy. The joy of getting hugs, kisses, I love yous, greetings, drawings (even though you really do not know what they draw), stickers, and everything else. The joy of a teacher.

I am falling in love with my kids. I have already fallen deeply in love with some of them. It will be hard to say goodbye. In just a few weeks.

Okay Shiqin, stop your emo. It's time to work on your evaluation which is due this Friday and start working on FP4 which is next Monday. I can already feel the sleepless nights again, but after FP4, I know I will miss all this.

Thank you my family, friends, principal, mentor, centre teachers, lecturers, field supervisor and definitely my kids for making my fp3 a success. Now, just one more time kids for Teacher Shiqin's FP4. And then I'll be your playmate again okay? I love my kids. I so do, even though they really make me feel like quitting this line on the spot. ;)