Ok, is there a change in blogger? It feels so so different, and I am too occupied to bother checking everything out and making a change.

I do not want to say it, to let myself feel it, or to sy it out. But here I am, really badly in need of venting it out.

I feel like quitting. I feel like giving up.

The tiredness is choking me. I want my life, where I get to spend time with MYSELF. I want to spend time doing the things I love, and know that I have a personal life, apart from work. These two to three weeks, I do not find such time. Today is Sunday, and I was really so close to going back to school and do up my work, and then it was cancelled, and the guilt is still hovering over me till now, and I know till tmr and so on. My good friends call me a workaholic now. Not that I wasn't before. I remember the late nights I stayed in the office. The work I brought home. But the feeling is just different. I am juggling so many things, myself. I am working my ass off, spending more than 12 hours in school every weekday, working Monday to Sunday, but still it's like nothing done. It's the piling workload, and if it's just that, I have children whom I have to look after for 9 and the half hours per day. They need me, my care, love, attention and knowledge. I feel so guilty for the times I vented my anger on them, as the pressure is building up in me.

I have so much work undone. I couldn't ask for more than 24 hours a day. And even so, I know I couldn't take it. My body couldn't take it anymore. The backaches and body aches are here now. And I could feel it especially when I climb up the stairs to my classroom for like 50 times per day.

I am just so tired. So so tired.

I have my dramatic corner to do up by tmr. And my dramatic board. And my Language corner. And my first storybook. And then start on my other 2 storybooks. And then work on the Gallery artwork. And then the portfolios. And of course, on top of that, my curriculum. My lessons, my Literacy, and everything else. And there's the whole day training on Wednesday.

Change of subject, I know it's long over for us. Especially since you've tied the knot. Adele's song, Someone like you is the best song to portray it. How fair/unfair can life be? There you are leading the happiest moments of your life, when here I am mending this broken heart, trying to regain my trust in people called men and trying, and really trying to trust love again. You started this relationship when I wasn't in favour of it, and left just like that. Umpteen times and why am I still so trusting. So now I've closed myself. Because there's no purpose opening myself up when I could not bring myself to trust. So stop asking when I'm  going to find someone and tie the knot. If it's so easy for others, it ain't for me. I have enough for now.

I know I can still move on. I know I can.
To top it of, I got into my Monash bachelor. Now to settle the payments. And I'm having my convocation in June, right after KIC. Which is somehow great! A celebration after the hard work. And official opening is on Friday the 29th June!

Whee, hope I can get away on 30th June before there's SCHOOL the next day (where I'm the student instead of the teacher), sounds nice! I NEED A BREAK! =)